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BACK ON THE COUCH
I’m kind of struggling with how to process this depression diagnosis. Where do I put this? How do I see myself now? I don’t want to define myself by this disorder. I don’t want to measure my life by the presence or absence of symptoms. At the same time, I have to acknowledge that this is a part of my reality, part of my daily battle. It’s just another manifestation of brokenness. The bigger picture is that I’m a child of God and that He is actively at work to bring healing and wholeness through resources like awesome prayer partners, supportive friends, a Christian therapist, and medication.
Despite the debilitating effects, it’s still so easy for me to hide behind depression in order to avoid challenges. I have to confess that there’s a small part of me that doesn’t want to get well because then people can’t expect too much of me and, therefore, I can’t be in a position to disappoint them. Obviously, this attitude is NOT from God. The truth is that He has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Tim. 1:7) He enables me to rise above my fallen condition and function in health and holiness when I depend on Him to help me ruthlessly resist fear and passionately pursue grace and truth.
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